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How did you meet your soulmate?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by alakazam, Oct 30, 2015.

  1. alakazam

    alakazam Active Member

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    How did you meet your soulmate? Feel free to share your story in this thread. I'm looking forward to reading them.

    As for me, this is how I met my soulmate:
     
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  2. Lexatom

    Lexatom Blockbuster Advocate

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    I feel you. I haven't had a girlfriend since Feburary. Then I made a stupid decision that I regret that ended up in us not being able to talk anymore.
     
  3. alakazam

    alakazam Active Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. Kaynil

    Kaynil Well-Known Member

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    I don't think there are soul mates for us. I mean I dig the romanticism and all but I don't think it is true. For me it is about making a bond with someone and grow it until you really get to know this person, and they know you even at your worse. There is no pretense or desire to impress because they have seen you unshaven and eating the crumbs that fell under your clothes. You have learn to accept your differences and stop thinking about withholding information so they don't think less of you. I can understand infatuation on first sight but no love. I cannot understand love without friendship. I am not saying friendship is all you need either.

    I met @Sardonic Pickle when I was around 15-16 years old on the Great Deku Tree Forums. We joined the same day, played a bit in the forum games. He sent me a PM just to tell me I had been added to his buddy List. We both misjudged each other in our first impression because of our avatars. He thought I was some guy I thought he was some kid. We got MSN and starting chatting quite often and from there our friendship blossomed. It was only years later when we decided to seriously pursue a relationship. Compacted like this sounds like a smooth ride but it has been the biggest zig-zag of my life. I spent a lot of my time depressed and it poured over my school. I honestly thought we were fools for being hooked in each other and spent years in denial. We have changed a lot since then but I think it is that we grew together that allowed us to remain compatible. I honestly had thought at points that if I hadn't known him from before I'd probably wouldn't be interested to strike a conversation with him. I guess I was becoming really negative and just trying to squeeze myself out of being in love with someone from the farther extreme of the world.

    Thankfully, not without big obstacles, we made it work.
     
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  5. Lexatom

    Lexatom Blockbuster Advocate

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    I don't get it.
     
  6. alakazam

    alakazam Active Member

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  7. Lexatom

    Lexatom Blockbuster Advocate

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  8. Kaynil

    Kaynil Well-Known Member

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    I'll try to explain:
    Alakazam says he hasn't met a soulmate.
    You say "I feel you." then talk about how you had a girl til February. That wording makes it sound like being in a relationship is not much of an issue for you.
    Some people have never even been close to become part of requited love, for them that "I feel you" sounds like mockery because no, it is definitely not the same situation. The meme pretty much is a spot on reaction. :XD:
     
  9. Servo

    Servo Gorilla Ninja

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    Yet to find one , I don't know I have had two engagements broken guess I was never into it . They were arranged engagements, I did not break them but something just come up lol I don't mind though as I said I was never into it, although I kinda liked my second fiancee , Shu-chan ahh she was like a fresh breeze in morning, her smile could melt rocks but yeah something came up and before I could really fall it was over lol , I don't mind though .

    But now 27, I know I'll be getting married in span of next two years or so , dunno with whom but there is only one thing I know relations work on mutual sacrifice and needs tolerance and yes I'm willing to do it ......

    Wow I'm an Angel ** cough**** cough**
    ** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**

    Live is All about giving, the only thing you take is joy in giving!!!!!!!!!!

    If after reading this any girl want to form a relation with me feel free to do it, I'm single !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA **cough**** cough**
    ** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**
     
  10. Lexatom

    Lexatom Blockbuster Advocate

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    Ohm I thought not having someone since Feburary was a problem. It's probably just my teenage mind getting to me, though.
     
  11. Kaynil

    Kaynil Well-Known Member

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    Wow, guys. Don't be so hurried into the idea of being into a relationship. Being solo also has its advantages. There are things you won't be able to do once you are living with someone else. I don't know what's up with deadlines to find love or get married. :puessi:

    I guess peer pressure must be getting into you. TIO, you have a lot of time to grow up and have a meaningful relationship, don't worry about passing months or years without it. Take things one day at the time. :-3

    I'm going to open a donation box to get some some cough syrup for poor @Servo. Being an Angel must kill your throat. :-P
     
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  12. Servo

    Servo Gorilla Ninja

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    @Kaynil yes please but for importantly find a girl for me to marry .. It is you duty as my friend
     
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  13. Queen Legend

    Queen Legend Rose Enchantress

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    I did not have yet. I am only 10 years old. Just try understanding.

    Sent from my LG-D686 using Tapatalk
     
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  14. Sardonic Pickle

    Sardonic Pickle Active Member

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    If you're looking for someone to marry/be in a relationship with, it's highly unlikely you'll find the 'right' one. There is no 'right one', marriage is just a man made concept to establish control in my cynical opinion.

    If you want to live with your friend that you love, and no one else. If you meet a person that becomes a very good friend, you may start liking them intimately and a relationship will grow on friendship with respect. If you want to get married, get married.

    I don't believe in a soul, so there are no soulmates. I love my wife with everything I have. 'Wife' is just a word that I don't think captures what I feel. It's a word goverments use to organise who lives with who. I don't need God's approval, nor the government's witness to stay commited, because I want to stay committed, I choose to stay committed because it's out of the question living with anyone else.

    She's been an extremely good friend,who I respect greatly and who came into my life at the right time. Would there be others out there in the 6 billion people in the world who could've formed a bond as strong... possibly, that's a big number. There's no perfect person, I do not believe in fate nor soulmates, just good luck. @Kaynil got to me first and I don't care about labels, never have, never will.

    Let's keep it real however,

    It's like Tim Minchin sang: "If I didn't have you, then I'd probably have... somebody else".
     
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  15. LinkSkywalker

    LinkSkywalker Cocky Little Freak

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    Well I guess if Sardonic Pickle is going to be all "reasonable" about it. Yeesh.

    "Soul Mates" are an eden fantasy. An imaginary person somewhere out there with whom everything will just make sense. Everything will be easy. Love will be natural. Life will be happy. Your soulmate will give you everything you want from another person, and they'll embrace everything you want to give them.

    Reality requires a little more hard work than that. More effort, more compromise, more sweat and more blood. And reality is infinitely more meaningful and beautiful in its complexity than an eden fantasy could ever manage to be.

    A decent gag video, though.
     
  16. alakazam

    alakazam Active Member

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    When you're done finding one for Servo, find one for me too. :-*
     
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  17. Akiranon

    Akiranon New Member

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    It's funny how similar my story is to Kaynil's, because I, too, met my significant other on a Zelda forum (of all places).

    I had known her for a couple of years before we started talking frequently. On the Zelda forum, we just happened to strike up a conversation. It really wasn't about anything special either, just that we recognized each other and about how we were both doing. After that initial message we just kept talking and talking. We really had a lot of chemistry between us as it turned out.

    It went on like that for a while, but I had to see what she was like in real life. I had romantic feelings for people online before that. They had one thing in common that made them impossible: the distance.

    So like every other 20-year old in my shoes, I booked a flight to the other side of the Atlantic ocean to see if we were compatible in real life. ;P Not being compatible in real life really was one of my biggest fears and one of the reasons why I said no to her the first time she asked me to be in a relationship with her. Fortunately, the chemistry was also there in real life, and I quickly booked another trip to the United States to visit her as soon as I got home. It really was a wonderful experience to be with her, even though we lived really far apart. After that summer in 2010 I was pretty much broke, but I felt it was worth it because we got to spend so much precious time together.

    Of course we've also had our downs. There was a period where we almost broke up (2011) because we didn't enjoy talking anymore. I'm still so glad I was able to find employment and figure out what I wanted to study in college, because it helped me out of my depression. It still amazes me that she didn't leave me that year.

    Unfortunately we still aren't together, but a couple of weeks ago she visited me again. I asked her if she wanted to marry me... And she said yes! I'll (finally) be done with college in a couple of months, so we can finally start looking forward to living together. It makes me super excited to think about the future, and I'm really looking forward to see what it holds for us together. ^^
     
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  18. Silent Lion

    Silent Lion Rawr.

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    People who make long distance relationships work have my reverance. It must be very difficult. If anything displays commitment and reliability, that has to be it.

    I met my other half in the city I was studying at. I'd just broken up with someone and was thinking, "I really can't deal with romance for a while." That lasted about three hours, because after a short train journey back from my home-town to my sudy-town I ran into a friend who coaxed me into a night out. A bit of disctraction and company seemed like a good idea. And one of the girls with us that night turned out to be my future wife.

    It's funny, because all my run-ins with girls prior to that had been full of drama and fireworks, and always ended ugly. But not with her. After spending the first night together, we stayed together, shopped together, ate together. No drama. It was just the most normal thing in the world. A week or so in, she said "Oh, we haven't changed our FB status yet". And that was the closest either of us came to being 'asked out', because no asking was needed. It just was.

    The soppy bit of the story is the first night, because we didn't get up to anything. I'm not a chivalrous kind of guy, it's not like that. But she was telling me how guys liked to take advantage, so when she made a move in her apartment that night I turned her down. I told her to get to know and trust me first. I figured, even if this went nowhere, maybe I'd set a precedent. So we shared a bed that night *drum roll* sleeping. Or hugging, if you must know. I think that set things off on the right priority.
     
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  19. 'zilla

    'zilla Blarf

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    When we talk of soulmates, we kind of know and agree what that is. But I think the reason why we get disappointed, is that as we meet someone interesting, we are forced to flesh out that definition. We either stretch it to define the person we met, or the definition breaks down because of an unmet expectation. I think there are problems with both of those end results.

    I prefer a more complex system of illusions about my bonds with other people. For a significant other, I see several possible roles that that person might share with me. Lover, guardian, partner, receiver, etc, each with its own personal definition. The receiver is someone who accepts to be the target of your infatuation. A guardian helps you stay who you are, while a partner helps you develop. So basically, the roles are made out of actions, and none of them cover a whole personality.

    I define a soulmate as someone who understands your identity and makes an effort for it to thrive. Additionally, a soulfriend is someone who agrees with a whole lot of your tastes, values and interests, so that your souls resonate in this manner. I have found these roles to be separate.

    You could say I don't believe that soulmates are "out there", waiting to me found. However, there are several people who are able to be these roles for you, and that is a matter of effort and chance as well as compatibility. And no matter how deep that connection is, it only involves part of a person. They will have sides which are completely independent of your wishes, unknowns that you never foresaw. And that is what you embrace to create real love, because that makes that person real. In fact, too much connection can stifle love, because what you are so excited about is not the other person at all; it is yourself.

    --

    I've been and felt the roles of soulmate, as I see it, a couple of times. Each time a different degree and different flavor. I no longer have those connections, but even so, through them, I have become a stronger and happier person. It is as if others can build you like a puzzle, piece by piece. You cannot do it yourself. What is more important, however, is that you have that power for others as well. And the more you learn about that, the easier it is to find a soulmate.

    All that is easier said than done, however, and only makes sense in retrospect. We are somewhat powerless in life, sometimes lost. I spent nearly a decade searching/waiting for missing pieces of myself, for a soulmate, for confidence. What saved me then was chance. It might also have been the fact that I kept trying new things, going new places, joining new events, etc. I exchanged to a different country and thereby moved out of all social norms that had suppressed me and kept me stuck to the same patterns. This freedom made me excited, and I reached a mental state which apparently made me attractive and interesting. I met a girl who was full of positive energy, and I felt that she could sustain that mental state in me. Without her, I would eventually have recollapsed into apathy. We enhanced each other, we were good for each other, because we shared similar beliefs and values in the world. I'd never met anyone exactly like her, someone who actually seemed to desire my company openly. She thus earned my trust and gave me the confidence to steal her heart. I was positively shocked and thrilled to be defying my own illusory tragedy.

    That relationship ended, but I am now somewhat cured of my past inability to reach out to others. Before her, the soulmate I dreamed of was an impossibility, and I knew it. She was not it, but rather she delightfully proved me wrong. Now, a soulmate to me is easier to find, because they do not need to be so divinely insightful as to tear down a wall of isolation. Also, I have learnt even more of the complexity of relationships, and instead of the redeeming white light of a vague soulmate, I see also the ubiquitous warmth of heart in so many people out there.
     
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  20. Link

    Link Hero of Time
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    IMG_2086.JPG I was watching the latest episode of Dawson's Creek and I just happened to notice the slight elongated skull James VanDerBek has and I realized that the whole introduction to The lion King song was just talking about a lion and I was devastated. So I went and played some of my Lizzie McGuire vhs tapes and it helped me come to the realization that.....I like ping pong entirely too much.

    This story was bull. Enjoy a picture of my son.
     
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